currently loving this song la. pure major cuteness la! ((= and my mama loving it too la. she dancing like a big honey bear beside me la. ((=
went studying with linda at woodlands library just now. good study session. i daresay that studies for my comm skill is 90% done. ((=
going to school tomorrow for a major memorising session. happiness la. i'm having the drive. ((=
missing someone already la. how like that.
task-related role. power in an organisation. virtual meetings. fundamentals. team. letter of enquiry.yes yes. i want distinction can? ((=
and isk. i get what you mean. i'm sure many others are feeling the exact same way. we'll all eventually move on together with the memories. ((= one day, somewhere in the near future, we'll sit somewhere and do a little remininsce down memory lane and smile at all the happy times and grins at the unhappy times which make us stronger and who we are today.
to you. good luck. and till we meet again. *hugs* ((=
10:09 PM_______ .
i found the perfect reason to perfect me up. ((=
hoobastank - the reason
i'm not a perfect person
there's many things i wish i didn't dobut i continue learning
i never meant to do those things to you
and so i have to say before i go
that i just want you to know
i'm sorry that i hurt youit's something i must live with everyday
and all the pain i put you through
i wish that i could take it all awayand be the one who catches all your tears
that's why i need you to hear
i've found a reason for me to change who i used to be a reason to start over new and the reason is you
11:22 PM_______ .
my aunt came over last friday.
aunt: where's kenny? so long never see him.
me: he went to malaysia.met my uncle in the bus on saturday.
uncle: where's kenny?
me: he's in malaysia.
my grandmama. all the time.
grandma: where's danny?
me: kenny.
grandma: where's kenny?
me: in malaysia/ at home/ somewhere (answer always changes because she asks like everytime we meet)
and she ALWAYS calls him danny. hurhur.
see. i'm not the only one who misses him. *grins*
(p.s:- my family is not obsessed with kenny. REALLY.)
12:33 PM_______ .
for fun, peace, laughter and joy, here's a picture of me and my boss. hurhur. mr jeremy ryan ng. courtesy of his camera phone, my dream N7610.
and before i forget. AGAIN. thanks boss! for the mms and pictures sent to my received folder in this
new computer of mine. *beams*
he said i'm cute. *grins* don't deny JR. ((=
11:02 PM_______ .
the weekend was a bliss. thanks sweet. ((=
*smiles*
then..
*silly smile*
then..
*loony smile*
then..
*goofy smile*
then..
*happy smile*
then..
*foolish smile*
then..
*blissful smile*
then..
*dreamy smile*
then..
*madness smile*
then..
*contented smile*
can't help it. ((((((((((=
now. back to mugging please.
10:34 PM_______ .
the past 2 days. i have been sitting in one corner. doing some self-reflecting. ((= and it did me good i guess. ((= cause now i'm feeling more positive and confident about dealing with life.
the only person who always nags at me to do some self-reflecting is kenny. even my parents don't. not that they agree with everything that i do. they often nag at the way i treated kenny. i'm impossible. i know.
kenny apparently left a very good impression on them i guess. *shrugs* my mama loves his blurness and his candidness. he's really very blur la. to the max. my dad loves his hardworking and very very helpful attitude. hurhur. i guess he's good after all. ((= that's why he's mine you see.
so anyway. currently. i am
so missing him.
weekend getaway? ((= thanks darling.
11:44 AM_______ .
this is a very emotional entry. either you read and like it or you just don't read it altogether. ((=
just now was my last day of school. though not officially. cause i have
3 common tests and
3 exams in the next
3 weeks. and then i'll be considered a fresh graduate from nanyang poly. again. not officially. and its a very emotional day for many of us. really. i am so attached to the school (obviously closing an eye to the fact that i skipped school many many times) that i can't bear to leave it. ))=
had my last lecture in school just now. conducted by the happy and pretty cute mr foo. and it broke my heart when he presented us a presentation full of quotes of life. and it doesn't help much when at the end of the presentation, r kelly's
i believe i can fly played on the system. i actually had to bit my lips to stop the tears from happily rolling down my cheeks. i am a very emotional person. i know. plenty of feelings can?
and it was during those long 2 minutes, pictures of me and my friends walking to lecture rooms and computer labs and having breaks flashed through my mind. its like only yesterday the person standing next to me, apparently jac, asked me if the line we were queuing in is the line for multimedia students. hurhur. and it felt like only yesterday i was a computer idiot. i don't wish for any of it to end. i'm having too much fun and thrills to be moving out of this lane.
but then again. time never stands still at anyone requests. and yes. i know i can't stay in this happy lane forever. i have to move on. whether i like it or not. ))=
so after lecture. i went up to mr foo thanked him for teaching us. wanted to thank all the teachers who taught me actually. really. but i couldn't be bothered to actually go around looking for them la. ((= too troublesome la. hurhur. walked out of the lecture hall for the final time. hopefully its the final time cause i
so do not wish to repeat any modules.
went to the stadium with kenny. its been an extremely tough week for us both. the time spent at the stadium brought back many memories for us too. that's where it all started you see. ((= spent 2 hours clearing things up despite the fact that a sports event was happening at the same time. ((= and i'm happy at how things are going on for us now.
i want you to know dear, that i've been unreasonable on countless occasions. accusing and assuming all the time. and at the same time, you have constant faith in me. believing that i'd change for the better one day. and though the day have yet to come, you stuck by me knowing that you'll be surrounded by hurt and pain.
i'm sorry dear for being so rotten to you. appreciate your patience and endurance. thank you. ((=
went to lot 1 with linda after that and learnt really alot of things from her. and never have i felt ever so grateful to her for opening up my mind's eyes. ((= thanks! you are very much appreciated.
currently feeling extremely sad. school will be over soon. and i really am not ready to move on with life. one of the reasons is that i have absolutely no plan on where to start. ))= and now i'm told to leave.
don't want can? ))=
i will miss doing projects. stressing throughout the night. overnight at kenny's place to finish up my project. i will miss studying together. writing all those cheat sheets. and then partying after the last paper. i will miss those lecture rooms with those flipped tables attached to the chairs where i vandalised on every table i'm at. and those days when there is no school but i'd be in school. the complains when i have to sit under the hot sun and watch the guys play soccer. i would so miss all those. in fact. there are many more things. ))=
its sad to see it finally coming to an end.
its funny when my sis told me she's going to my school and doing my course in 2 months time. being the creative her, i know many would nod their heads. but its funnier still. that she actually cried when she was told about it. cause when i received the exact same news 3 years ago, i cried too. nanyang poly wasn't exactly my dream school. and yet now. i wish my time in school never ends. ))=
and all i said to her was,
you cry now. 3 years down, you'll cry again. only harder.cause that is exactly what i am experiencing now.
1:13 AM_______ .
Wednesday, March 23, 2005
there is a saying that goes something like
if got friend to make, make la! obviously the saying is from yours truly. but really. there really is a saying la. same meaning. only the words to the sentence are slightly different. okay. a whole lot different.
anyway. making friends is good. cause you never know when you might need their help.
like for instance. my new friend amir. haha. this is the guy who witness me struggling napfa. and the best part was. there goes my image. so you can imagine how gross i'd look. i could be doing the jumping stint. or that shuttle run where i nearly slipped. it could be anytime between that period of unglamourous moments. but anyway. we are friends now. and he helped me! yay-ness. he helped me download songs and passing them to me. so i finally got my 3 songs. yay-ness! and as mentioned earlier. doing that is really legal. ((= thank you!
so bottomline is, making friends is good! ((=
delta goodrem & brian mcfadden
almost here
did i hear you right?
cause i thought you said
let's think it over
you have been my life
and i never planned
growing old without you
but when i need you
you're almost here
well i never knew how far behind i'd left you
and when i hold you
you're almost here
well i'm sorry that i took our love for granted
9:01 PM_______ .
i'm angry when you're always never there for me.
i'm angry when i am always secondary to your gazillion stuff.
i'm angry when i have to always wait for you.
i'm angry when you always sleep on me despite the same long day we have.
i'm angry when you simply run away avoiding all confrontations.
i'm angry when you are not honest to me.
i'm angry when i always find out stuff from a second person.
i'm an angry woman. and you know what. i don't care. i'm unreasonable. but. please note that. things happen for a reason.
you said don't treat as if we are over cause we're not.
and my answer is. i'm not. why? i'm just giving you all the time in the world you always wanted.
you want it. you got it.
am i right?
here's to siti.
babe! happy birthday! ((=
11:16 AM_______ .
3 doors down - let me goyou love me but you dont know who i ami'm tore between this life i lead and where i standand you love me but you dont know who i amso let me golet me gobrian mcfadden & delta goodrembut when i need youyou're almost hereand i know that's not enoughand when i'm with youi'm close to tearscause your only almost herenow you understand?
11:49 PM_______ .
this week is the last of everything. *sadness* yesterday was the last monday in school. today is the last tuesday of the semester. and just now. i presented my final project. and as usual it sucks big time! urgh!
whatever.
i have enough of projects. enough of datelines. and though i'm not happy to see it finally out of my life, i'm happy that its over for now. ((=
been spending quality time with the girls. yesterday and today. love the time spent together. full of laughter. like madness. ((=
neoprints. food. window shopping. choose your colours (of course this doesn't include nazi). lame jokes. husbands. computer monitor frame. hurhur.
its all pure madness.
happiness. it doesn't come often. i'm treasuring every single nich of it. ((=
11:24 PM_______ .
went to changi just now. with the paternal relatives. then went to some furniture warehouse sale and got ourselves 2 new computer table. i also got that happy mat for my earrings. such happiness la. ((= just arranged all my earrings nicely onto the happy mat. i'll take a pic of it and show it when its all up and nice. thinking of buying one more tomorrow. ((=
what i am going to say have nothing to do with changi. happy mats. computer table. or anything associated to the paragraph above.
anyway. some theory questions. for everyone to ponder on.
girls and shopping go hand in hand. guys and friends go hand in hand. bear this in mind please.
girls. have you ever spent your shopping money on your guys? like really. SHOPPING MONEY la. to buy that nice happy jacket or cute nice-ness shirt.
ooh-wee. or anything la. i'm sure most of us have. ((= and then attending to his every need. and making sure he's really walking on two legs instead of down on all fours.
guys. have you ever been in a crossroad where you are torn between spending time with your other half or friends? and naturally you chose the prior cause
i seldom spend time with my friends what. ((= and then you spend a day with your friends happily and when you're with your other half you get miserably tortured.
life is unfair. and we
have to complain. stand up for our own rights.
thank you.
6:28 PM_______ .
disappointed. very very very disappointed.
cheated. tired. upset. heartbroken. shocked. exhausted.
in short. sad.
12:18 AM_______ .
currently loving pug jelly's ransom letter. anybody who has that song pplease pass it to me. okay thanks. with the new computer. i'm being very very cautious. no downloading of songs. no song library of up to 6000++ songs. no. no more. ((=
i do not support downloading now. downloading is piracy. piracy is illegal. i support the singers wholeheartedly and will buy my next cd in a cd store. empty cds that is. so you can burn songs for me. ((=
but if you download and pass me the song, its legal. ((= really.
pug jelly - ransom letter
so you stole my heart
and left me a ransom letter
demanding i treat you better
should i ever want it back and
now I'm all alone
dreams are all forgotten
memories all turned rotten
it's not the same on the phone
was watching teevee and heard this super familiar song but can't remember the title. and when i asked kenny. he said.
oh. that's foo fighters.its actually goo goo dolls with iris. i loike~
goo goo dolls - iris
and i don't want the world to see me
cause i don't think that they'd understand
when everything's made to be broken
i just want you to know who i am
1:56 PM_______ .
kenny didn't know how the cash card parking works! and that tickles me pink. no.
no pun intended kenny aka patrick the starfish. no pun intended. ((=
mum: move forward abit.
kenny: move already
mum: abit more. the sensor cannot read.
kenny: i move very close already!and that caused a major traffic jam at toa payoh central with me praying very hard that the people around us who were signalling very very hard to move the car forward nearer to the sensor doesn't recognise us or take down the car number.
the reason why we can't get out of the place without attetntion?
kenny's refusal to listen to his mama's and other drivers advice to move the car
FORWARD!
no. i'm not exaggerating. ((=
and this is the same person who made me miss school today. not that i mind. ((=
he called me when i just only left home.
kenny: where are you?
me: on my way to school already.
kenny: i'm sick and not going to school.
me: okay.
kenny: you don't care bout me anymore.the thing is. he's all the way in toa payoh and couldn't see me struggling with
1) jac's jelly in one hand
2) handphone in another hand
3) wallet between the fingers
4) bag on one shoulder
5) trying to tear. no. cut. no. keep. NO. SHOVE. yes the word is really SHOVE. shove away the hair that's blocking my eyes
and
slowly going down the steps in front of my blk
suffering from the cramps of napfa. horrible.
and because i heart him super much. today's lesson is worth a skip.
and kenny's mama is being very kind when i called her and asked if she needs lunch. despite the fact that i already bought her her favourite snacks. hurhur.
me: auntie you eat lunch already? i at toa payoh.
auntie: you never go school? you also sick ah? kenny also sick. he now sleeping.
me: no. i didn't go school.
auntie: oh. i eaten already. so no need to buy anything.i heart her many many too. ((=
by the way. my whole family loves rotiboy! this mean that rotiboy is a part of my family. yay-ness! ((=
so kenny. you know what to do la k. ((=
12:24 AM_______ .
11:50 PM_______ .
Wednesday, March 16, 2005
nothing new. didn't go to school. hurhur. oh well. at least this time round i have a REASON! yay-ness. reasons are always the best excuse to be excused. yada yada. ((=
couldn't make it to school cause. my body aches so badly that the only way to get out of bed is to roll off.
meeting the boyfriend later for a movie. did i mention that he went to sentosa to have fun leaving me all alone in singapore. i didn't? okay. the boyfriend went overseas yesterday with his classmates. and i couldn't follow cause i have classes and can't miss elizabeth's class again. besides i have my napfa test too. anyway. he got burnt. haha. he never tan. will never. can never. he only burn. so he was all red when he came to see me last night after sentosa.
and kenny should be happy that we are going to watch movie cause i can't walk and shop. *rolls eyes*
see my red lobster. so red. drunk red lobster. no no. wrong. cooked lobster. ((=
that's my boyfriend by the way.
1:45 PM_______ .
jonathan: what do you call a pregnant lady riding a bicycle?
me: pregcycle?
jonathan: no. a cyclist.
i nearly died. that was during the happy mind games moments from last week.
jon! maybe we should start planning for a get together like the old times. happiness lah.
miss you guys very very much.
oh. you guys know who you are. my body aching la. cannot type many many. ((=
12:10 PM_______ .
i got over today in one piece. and would like to say my thanks to mini. for the happy shorts. nazi. for being there. ((= and all those who were there to witness my antics. hurhur. ((=
today. i did the ultimate.
classic you know. haha.
i went for napfa. *applause please* ((=
and i finished all 5 stations. despite being the only girl among 7 other guys in my group. embarrassment and shy-ness and paiseh-ness have to put aside. my pride and everything. god bless me. and god bless them. i'm exposed in many areas. *rolls eyes*
i did 50 sit-ups. my shuttle run hit the ultimate 11.23. stretched 63cm for my sit-and-reach. that pull-up thingey, did a whole of 10. and my 2.4km run, i finished in 16 mins. and that earned me my silver badge.
yay-ness.
then i went to breeks to treat myself a good dinner. yummilicious. and then i went home.
kenny agreed to buy me a new phone. and tomorrow we are going shopping.
and i am very happy with all the facts above. except that its really fiction. ((= i lied.
okay okay.
the part about going napfa and being the only girl in a group of 8 is true. that silver badge is fake. i failed 3 stations out of that 5 stations. hurhur. i only completed 1 round of 6 rounds for my 2.4 with the help from nazi of course.
went to long john instead of breeks. tomorrow no shopping. kenny insisted on movie. BUMMER! and obviously. NO NEW PHONE.
and now. that makes me unhappy. and yes. the second part of this entry is UNFORTUNATELY true.
*rolls eyes*
10:45 PM_______ .
having this feeling of wanting to sneeze but not being able to. irritating? totally. grr.
went for the ept test just now. hoping to be able to play teacher-teacher in a
REAL classroom with
REAL students who actually go home and get their
REAL parents to sign their report books. ((=
i want to be a teacher!
basically the test was like okay. its the 2 mins conversation part that got me all fed up. they give such lousy topic. its a one-way thing. a yes-no answer. how to elaborate a yes-no question. like how do you answer:
is earth created circle?yes. earth is created in a circular manner. its not square. or oval. or even rectangle. and if we are bad, it'd be triangle.haiz. at least there are 6 sentences. if you ask me what my answer to the forgotten question. all i can say is, its a major disappointment cause i seriously elaborated what i have to and apparently its a LONG 3 sentences. and you'd be asking. how can 3 sentences be long? its
l o n g cause i
d r a g g e d every sentence to last that 2 mins duration. and when i'm done and moving out of the room, the invigilator looked at me and smiled SINISTERLY as if he heard every single word i have said into the microphone that's very very in front of my mouth in a room where 10 other candidates are cleverly giving their intellectual speech of a yes-no question.
and now. that's a long sentence. hurhur. and if you go through that sentence again, note how wonderful english i have. and i so much want my classes to be conducted in english. how like that. how to teach my young ones in a real class.
grr.
anyway. after the paper. went to far east with doreen. i so love that girl la. like happiness being with her. and it was also the first time that i see her without max. ((= haha. and we just so happiness la. (note how at this point that my english become super
powderful that MOE should give me a place in a school IMMEDIATELY.) but really la. doreen! i'd so love to go out with you again. really. honest. can try-try clothes many many many many again. ((=
managed to finally sneezed thrice. and siti.
there are people who have this combo sneeze. so don't be awed. ((=
tired. tomorrow is going to be a long long day. i just know. will be doing something that i never thought i'd be doing after so long. hurhur.
shall let the whole world know what its about
AFTER i'm done with it. *cross fingers*
10:26 PM_______ .
in a month time, i'll be sitting for my final exams in poly. and in 2 months time, i'll be afresh graduate out of poly. *sads* presented my final major project yesterday. and despite the fact that the project was condemned because apparently 6 of us presented the same thing to the same teacher at the same time. okay. not at the same time exactly. but back to back. and thank god she's kind enough to let us pass eventhough its not with flying colours. hurhur.
but still. i don't mind doing the whole thing again. cause i don't wish to see the days where projects are a pain end. i'm going to miss doing projects. and stressing myself up. and i can't stand the fact that i'm going to move on to the next big step of my life.
adulthood = working life = the ultimate TERROR.
why i'm not ready to move on
1) my brains are not fully filled.
2) i refuse to pay my handphone bills on my own.
3) i still want to receive my allowances from my mama.
4) macdonald's 4.30$ meals is the ultimate yay-ness.
5) concession! i need my daily 4 trips on the train.
6) in future i have no more past year projects to rely on!
7) shopping sprees would be limted.
8) i will have no big and happy social life. that's what happened to all working people right. )=
9) no more self-declared breaks. that is definitely big hoo-haa.
10) and. who can i play mind games and lame riddles with during those difficult times?! and what else could beat that. )=
why i think i should move on
1) i want cash. which would end up paying bills.
2) i want to get married.
3) i don't want to stay in school and mix with the 16 and 17 kids when i'm 28.
4) can't think of anything else.
see. i'm NOT ready to move on. but i can't stop time. and let me remain 17 for the rest of my life. can you see how this is tormenting me? depressed. sad. lost. confused. how like that. sadness. )=
i'm not ready. I AM JUST NOT READY. and at the same time. i DO NOT want to repeat any modules and keep me from graduating with my current cohort. hurhur.
lazy afternoon. boring-ness. slow-ness. yawn-ness.
reality check! i'm still not ready. grr.
3:07 PM_______ .
didn't attend school. what's new. and elizabeth said this should be nothing new to you when she passed me my first warning letter. it is new to me! i haven't got any warning letter for a long long time okay. and i am absolute sure that the last time was during my first year.
anyway. lots of bimbo conversations happened during elizabeth's lab. between me and elizabeth herself.
me: cannot login.
elizabeth came over and keyed elizabeths under user and her password. still cannot login.
me: could it be because you put elizabeths instead of elizabeth?
elizabeth managed to log in when i was saying that. and elizabeths as her user name.
elizabeth: s is my surname.
..
me: there is no admin tools.
elizabeth came over and start installing for me. and was prompt. and checked if there already is the admin tools. and of course its there.
me: sorry.
lesson learnt: when they say follow the lab CLOSELY and you WON'T go wrong, what they really meant is. follow SMARTLY.
hurhur. by the way. elizabeth is my lecturer.
back to BLOODY ums.
3:29 PM_______ .
remember the times when abc and 123 sounds and look so innocent? and everything is okay at the end of the rainbow where there is supposed to be a pot of gold? how bout those times where you are fine sitting alone at home without feeling lonely or start calling every single relative to ask your mama's whereabouts instead of calling her hp straight. or those times where love was no big issue that you have to tear your hair out each time someone call you names.
no idea what i'm talking about?
what i'm really trying to say is. don't you guys remember where school projects are only about doing a whole scrap book of dried leaves and drawings on a big mahjong paper which would then be presented in front of a class of 40 students in uniforms and white canvas shoes. and these classes are permanent classes. not those where you have to move around to look for these classes. or should i say rooms and labs.
now you know what i'm talking about?
i'm pissed with projects that require too much time on a computer. and it doesn't help that when the due date is like only 2 days away and your computer starts to give you all kind of bloody problems.
i have enough. and i'm throwing in the white flag or towel or shirt. and that white sock deep in my drawer. basically. i surrender. give up. enough.
and the best part is. i'm a computer student. yes. a true blue full-time computer student.
now you get it?
if you read between the lines. and decipher this whole entry. what i really was saying is.
i miss you. to a certain someone. and of course thanks. for everything.
3:16 AM_______ .
Wednesday, March 09, 2005
currently in a cyber cafe where most nyp students know as elp. its actually e-learning plaza.
lecture this morning was cancelled. so i came for lab instead. and when i am actually OUTSIDE THE DOOR WAITING FOR IT TO BE OPENED BY MR CHANG KIM KEE WHO WAS ALSO MY PAST SUPERVISOR, i got news that lab was cancelled as well. woo-wee.
and i wasn't alone.
thank god for nazi and her happy classmates. played more mind games and riddles. hahaha.
2:46 PM_______ .
subtitles on teevee.
subtitle: ... something something something ... keep
abreast ... something something something ...
translation from sis.
sis: ... something something something ... keep
a breast ...
keep a breast? what the...
8:43 PM_______ .
its so gooooooooooood to have my teevee back in the room. and everything is going well for me.
1) my teevee is in my room!
2) my internet is working!
3) my printer is alive!
4) i have chocolate. like now.
5) i can regain my multi-tasking skills back.
but.
1) nothing good is on the teevee now.
2) internet is working but its super laggy despite the upgrade of speed.
3) printer is alive but no ink!
4) i can't bite my chocolate properly! my teeth is killing me.
6) how to multi-task? no good shows. nothing to surf online. i'm doing one thing at a time now.
my project is not even halfway done. i can't set the IIS thing in my comp. its irritating cause without that i can't really do my UMS project properly. school's computer is booked like all day long. how to do project. i'm not lazy. i just can't figure out how to do my project. oh yeah. its due this friday.
test. tomorrow. and its supposed to be EASY. its open book anyway. so
maybe. its easy.
anyway. i'm in love. and would
VERY MUCH WANT TO REMAIN THIS WAY. for like. forever. yeah.
FOREVER. regardless of what. (=
8:09 PM_______ .
america's funniest home video was so funny that the tears down my cheeks actually meant nothing.
except that it didn't heal the wounds.
thank god for cable.
3:55 AM_______ .
Wednesday, March 02, 2005
bored. boring. boredom.
currently in lab.
cold. cold-ing. cold-dom.
notice how the word cold-dom looks obscene. its a mixture between condom and sodomise. to me. get it. whatever.
BORING. TO THE MAX.
next time shall bring snake and ladder then can play together-gether. and charan like tying to read from over my shoulder. and that makes me so uncomfortable.
bored fullstop
1:38 PM_______ .
