what is the definition of love?

someone explained to me the difference of being in love with someone and loving someone. it kind of make lots of sense and i believe i can actually relate to the whole definition.

so its true when one said love is selfish and super blind. cause it is. i'm so not very over the moon to actually be able to say that i got to experience it first hand.

please note that this entry is not about kenny and that its not filled with angst. ((:

i want to so much thank you for making the move but at the same time the thought of having to communicate with you to acknowledge the act is such a bitch. you get it.

i'm suddenly filled with unexpected hatred for you.

do you even understand?

28th april. suddenly its ugly.

15th june. its really twice the ugly. in short. awful.

now you get it?

i hate you very much when i shouldn't.

cause in which position do i stand to have the honours of hating you?

and you know very well. how i define love and hate. hurhur. but in this case. please do not read between the lines. ((:

they said jerks are scumbags and a pest.

but at the same time, why didn't they add in the fact that they're nice people when time wills it and they actually add colours into your life.

then again. i shouldn't be complaining. cause with every experience i faced, i realised i'm stronger on the inside. i gained emotional strength. so its not all loss really.

disappointed? i sure am.

but you know what. i am smiling. laughing in fact. but i'm laughing in the inside where its dry. very dry.

cause at the end of it all. i know where i once stood in your life and where you now stand in mine.

i'm a flower while you're a fungus.

so. in what way can you remember me by?

in a way where 28th april's magic never happened and you're just another jerk who happened to share the same dancefloor as mine. in a way where we never shared any happy conversations and happy thoughts and very happy games.

basically in a way where i'm nothing but a distant fading memory.((:

you kept pushing me to open up. but all in all you're the one with the i'm-too-good-to-be-true personality. you're the one who doesn't open up. you're the one with no feelings. and somehow. i thank god that you're that heartless. ((:

that's why all of these caused no stir in your life. cause for you. feelings are secondary.

i'm currently wounded. where feelings are involved, i'm a very emotional person.

i'm happy that once upon a time i once knew a jerk like you.

i've said it all. take your leave then. cause i'm leaving. right after you.

for once. allow me to do it after you. ((:

and yes. i'll make your exit a worthy one.